Emperor of Japan Gifts Trump State-of-the-Art Toilet for Qatari Jet
In an unusual act of personal diplomacy, the Emperor of Japan presented Donald J. Trump with the Emperor 9000 Executive Edition Intelligent Comfort Throne, custom-built to fit the private jet Trump received earlier this year from the Emir of Qatar.
Imperial Palace officials described the gesture as “a convergence of two engineering traditions — Japan’s mastery of precision systems and President Trump’s well-documented exacting digestive byproduct handling standards” The unit was shipped directly to an unnamed Air Force base in Virginia, where a team of Japanese and DARPA technicians spent three weeks integrating it into the aircraft’s mid-cabin sanitation bay.
Sources close to the president say the Emperor 9000’s capabilities include dietary recognition sensors, methane-level calibration, and an exclusive “Shogun Spray” mode, a high-pressure cleansing sequence designed to function flawlessly during turbulence. Trump reportedly tested the feature mid-flight and immediately described it as “better than any deal we’ve ever made.”
Less than two days later, he announced the complete removal of all tariffs on Japanese plumbing imports, calling it “a fair exchange” and “the future of international agreements.”
Economic observers have noted that the move sent Toto stocks soaring, with one Tokyo trade analyst dubbing it “the Bretton Woods of modern trade negotiations.”
The Emperor of Japan has not commented publicly, but one palace aide hinted that a second gift is already in development, this one “for standing operations.”